Marriage is not an easy ride and it is often shaken by problems and trials. One of the hardest trials is when your marriage is losing its spark and getting dull. Couples in a stale or boring marriage may start to get confused if the relationship is still worth keeping and may end up separating if they failed to bring the spark back in their relationship. If your marriage is getting stale, you need to know how to bring back the spark in your marriage to save your troubled relationship.
When couples are caught up in the increased responsibilities of raising kids and climbing the career ladder, the marriage often suffer. Couples tend to focus more on their daily responsibilities and end up doing their own thing for the family and neglected their needs as couples. They are trapped in a routine of married life and this makes the relationship boring and lifeless. While raising your kids well and securing a stable career are good things, you also need to focus on your relationship to make your marriage last.
So how to bring back the spark in your marriage? You do not have to struggle to restore the spark that once filled your relationship, the following tips can be helpful to bring back the spark in your marriage.
Reminisce with your spouse. Bringing back old memories will remind you and your spouse on how much you love each other. Revisit the place where you first met or where you got engaged. Watch your wedding videos and look at your old photos together to remind you how happy you felt when you said “I do” to each other and realize that losing the spark in your marriage is just a phase that you both need to survive.
Appreciate your spouse more. We all need to be appreciated even with the little things we do every day. Appreciation is a validation that your spouse is doing meaningful things for the family. If we are often neglected and ignored, we get a negative feeling that our efforts are worthless and we get less encouragement to continue with the relationship. Sometimes we are quick to give criticisms and slow in giving praise. Couples have the wrong notion that appreciation is only given to extraordinary achievements or if a spouse did something great beyond his or her responsibilities. This is the very reason why some marriages become stale and boring. They become like robots who just do things for the family and eventually feel nothing because they are not appreciated. Praise your spouse for working hard for the family, for being a good parent and for being a good spouse. Make it a point to notice and praise even the little things your spouse do every day. Even a simple hug, kiss and saying thank you as a sign of appreciation could make your marriage more romantic and exciting. Your relationship will get better and it will be easier to bring back the spark in your marriage if you will praise your spouse more.
Surprise your spouse even if there is no special occasion. Make his or her ordinary day extraordinary by giving surprises. We usually remember and give gifts on special occasions like anniversaries and birthdays but if you want to bring back the spark in your marriage, give small gifts on ordinary days and make your spouse feel special even if there is no special occasion. Your spouse will feel more loved making the relationship alive.
Give your spouse a day-off. If your wife is usually tied at home with her daily chores, do the chores for her and let her have a day-off and spend a day to do the things she want to do for herself. If your husband always drive for you and the kids, give him a day-off and allow him to enjoy once in a while with his buddies or male friends. Everyone needs a break once in a while not to be burn-out. If you want to bring back the spark in your marriage, it is important to give your spouse the time to recharge his or her energies.
Do not make small things a big deal. Do not carry grudges and do not allow small issues spoil your daily relationship with your spouse. It could be tiring to live in a marriage where issues arise after another issue. Make your marriage a pleasant environment and avoid grudges as much as possible. Make a list of the things that can be tolerated and things that needs to be compromised to avoid conflicts.
Create new memories. Make it a point to travel and create hobbies that you can do together to create new memories and spend more time together. Relationships will become stale without new memories and experiences. Step out of your daily routine and explore together things that you want to experience for a change, it maybe bungee jumping, mountaineering or it may be as simple as going to museums to appreciate different works of art or try a new restaurant every week to experience something different each week. Be adventurous and share new experiences to bring back the spark in your marriage.
Daily conversation. Spend quality time every day to talk about your individual feelings, hurt, frustrations and what you want with each other. Miscommunications or misunderstandings can be avoided if you check in with one another every single day. Regular conversation also strengthens your bond with each other. If regular conversation is not a common practice in your marriage, it is not too late to start now. Set aside a few minutes every day to sit down together to have a good conversation. It may be over coffee or after you tucked your kids in bed. You can also plan a date night or lunch out once a week to have more time to talk to each other. Make it a point to converse every day with your spouse despite the overwhelming demands of married life if you really want to bring back the spark in your marriage.
Say “I love you” more often to your spouse. It is a common mistake to just assume that your spouse already knows that you are in love with him or her and you do not have to say it in words. Spouses still want to hear those words. Aside from verbal words, there are also other ways to say “I love you” to your spouse like writing a love letter or sending personal love messages to your spouse though text messaging. If you really want to bring back the spark in your marriage, you have to verbalize your feelings of love to your spouse.
Losing the spark in your marriage is not the end of the relationship because there are ways to re-ignite the spark and make your relationship alive again. To save your troubled marriage visit Saving A Troubled Relationship